The dishes served to us as children tend to linger in the back of one’s mind, carved there by repetition, but truly embedded with aroma and taste; it takes just a whiff to send you back in time. Sometimes it is hard to recreate a dish because taste buds and even the memories themselves change. Our valiant efforts to keep a family ‘recipe’ alive sometimes end in disappointment. These are usually the recipes that were so routine, no one thought to write them down.
Old family favorites
When I was a kid, my mother loved cooking pork. Her parents used to raise pigs, so she had lots of dishes that were her favorites. We all loved her crispy stuffed pork chops, and we had them often. Her pork cutlets were my dad’s and the rest of the family’s favorites, mine included. It was also the last meal I ate with my father two days before he died. I’ll tell you a little about that day.
Unplanned excursion
It was a Sunday, and when my husband and I got up we decided on a whim to go to the very large and wonderful Newfane (Vt) outdoor flea market. We spent a couple of hours there and decided to see my parents (only about 20 minutes away from the market) for a surprise little lunch. We stopped at a local deli near them and got a few little treats to bring, some protein and a few sides.
A shift
When I got there, my mom was busy making her pork cutlets, and as I joined in helping her in the prep, all of a sudden it felt like the world had slowed down to a near stop, a shift, I felt in awe of everything I touched, the smells in the kitchen were profound, I can remember to this day every minute of that day, the bird songs outside, the ballgame on tv with my dad making some sound or another after a ball was hit. It was an ordinary day like so many, but I knew something was happening, and the only way I can describe it is that I felt like I was in a state of grace. I was moving in sacred space, absorbing every second.
Let’s add to the party
Not long after I arrived, my sister showed up, also unplanned, and she brought some chicken for the grill. We laughed, we talked, we ate, and although I had stopped eating red meat, I still had to have one of those cutlets, the aromas and implanted memories so strong.
Strong memories
I still recall every word we said that day, all these years later. When it was time to go, I kissed my dad goodbye and said I love you, as usual, and he said I love you too, as usual. Kissed mom, smiled, and we were on our way.
By the time I got home, I was living in real time once again, but I called my girlfriend and told her about what I’d experienced, although it was, and still is, quite hard to describe. She said it was obvious I was meant to remember that day.
A gentle end
I do, because two days later, my dad died unexpectedly. He simply fell asleep in his favorite chair, his usual late morning nap, wife of most of his life cooking him his favorite lunch of fried potatoes and eggs. The death we all should have, a gentle slip away.
A purpose?
There is no doubt on my mind the golden afternoon with him was a profound gift I won’t even try to understand or explain. It was an ordinary day of conversation about nothing in particular, cooking together, just being together, all unplanned but obviously there was a purpose.
Moments
Of course I remember the food of that day; mom and I cooked next to each other for decades, and she was pretty good about writing things down. I have a collection of her 3”X5” recipe cards I cherish, but some dishes were so routine, I guess she didn’t think they were important enough to actually write down. The cutlets were one of those, and neither me nor my sister ever recreated them exactly like hers. Faulty memories or changing taste buds? Maybe there really was a secret ingredient involved.
Too simple to write down
She never wrote down her recipe for stuffed pork chops either, and everyone also loved them, even though they weren’t really stuffed at all, just mounded with a flavorful stuffing that she got nice and crispy in the oven. While I absolutely hated the stuffing in the Thanksgiving bird, soggy and yucky, I did love the crispy topping on those chops, way better than the chops themselves.
What did you do mom?
It was a simple stuffing, bread, milk, eggs, onions, celery, poultry seasoning, and that’s about it. I watched her make it a hundred times. It was the technique of getting it nice and crispy that drew us in. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I cannot get this simple stuffing to taste the way my mom’s tasted. What in the world did you do mom? Smear it with lard? Or, maybe it is as I said earlier that tastes and memories change, but this is so darn simple, there shouldn’t be a big mystery to it.
I guess I’ll have to make it my way
So I sort of gave up and decided to take the idea but change it up a lot! Why not substitute a lovely little mushroom for the pork chop? Cheaper, but still flavorful and ‘meaty.’ Seriously, it’s really all about the stuffing. Stuffing puts folks in two distinct camps, soggy or crispy, and my entire family (except the husband) want only the crispy, which is why I cook the Thanksgiving ‘stuffing’ outside the bird, most call it dressing if prepared like that. This stuffing is definitely crispy!
Let’s toss in some new ingedients
To take it one step further, or rather a couple of steps further, the addition of mushrooms and cranberries totally redesign this stuffing. Both add some lovely moisture to the dish, as well as flavor. The cranberries contribute tartness as well, and this is a perfect dish to use up those last berries in the bag in the bottom of the refrigerator.
A little of the expensive, a lot of the common
The mushrooms in the stuffing can be any type. I had some regular white button on hand and they were lovely, inexpensive too. The shiitake can be more expensive, but I got mine from a local company in bulk at the co-op and just chose just what I needed, counted them out, so it was a good deal all around.
A substitute here and there
I’ve used pecans here, but you can substitute walnuts or any other desired nut. In the case of nut allergies, toasted pumpkin seeds will work, just mound a few on top as with the pecan half and everyone will know what’s inside.
Stale bread please
Stale bread will suck up the milk more efficiently, so if your bread is really fresh, just leave it out for a couple of hours before you begin to dry it out somewhat. However, this is not the place for dried breadcrumbs.
Lots of options
These little gems are great as a party appetizer or first course, or as the stuffing element at a holiday feast, especially if you have some vegetarians coming, and I certainly do. I’ve made these for dinner and enjoyed a couple in place of the meat on the plate, my husband will eat at least three. You can also make this stuffing in a large portobello mushroom cap for a vegetarian holiday entrée, so festive looking and even more surface area to crisp up!
What would she think?
Does it taste like my mother’s oven stuffing? Not a bit, and most certainly not her stuffed pork chops, but it is delicious. I’ve given up trying to replicate her simple version, no matter what it is piled on, which is probably why I will probably keep adding other ingredients.
Now, if mom were here, making her pork cutlets, I just might have to let myself indulge, for old time’s sake, and because it’s been a while since I’ve time travelled.
Stuffed Shiitake Mushrooms
- 10 good-sized shiitake mushrooms
- 1 cup fresh but stale bread cubes (1/4 inch)
- 1/3 cup soy or other plant milk
- 1 ½ cups diced mushrooms, any kind you like
- 1 large shallot, minced
- ¼ cup minced pecans and 10 halves
- 3 ounces (86 g.) cranberries, small dice
- 1 tsp. Bell’s Poultry Seasoning, or favorite
- 2 egg whites or egg replacer equivalent
Preheat oven to 400 F. (200 C.). Remove the tough stems from the mushrooms and set aside on a baking sheet lined with parchment and lightly sprayed with oil.
Cut bread into ¼ cubes and place in a bowl with the milk. Let this soak while you prep the rest of the ingredients. Put on some good music during this step.
Everything ready, the bread should have soaked up the milk, if not, squeeze lightly and discard any drips. Add the mushrooms, minced pecans, cranberries, poultry seasoning, and egg whites. Mix well, season with salt and pepper.
Using a small cookie scoop or tablespoon, mound the stuffing on top of the mushrooms, then top each with a pecan half. Spritz with a bit more olive oil. You can make this early in the morning to this stage and bake them off later if you have a crowd coming.
Bake for 15 minutes, turn, and continue to bake until the top is nicely browned and mushrooms cooked through, another five minutes will probably do it.
Serve straight up, or add an onion or mushroom gravy.
And if everyone loves it, write it down!
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“Too few of us, perhaps, feel that the breaking of bread, the sharing of salt, the common dipping into one bowl, mean more than satisfaction of hunger. We make such primal things as casual as tunes over a radio, forgetting the mystery and strength in both.” ~ M.F. K. Fisher
Great advice
Thanks Sheree!
Thank you, Dorothy, for the beautiful memories of your mom cooking, and you own ideas for the perfect stuffing.
Joanna
Thanks Joanna! I knew you would like this one! They are soooo good!
You brought tears to my eyes, my dear friend. Memories never to be forgotten. ❤️
They won’t be sis, they are in my heart forever.
This reminds me of your stuffed mushrooms with the pineapple, because you liked the stuffing on your mother’s pork chops. These sound delightful, too.
Thank you Suz! When I was a kid, I pretty much loved everything we had, except red beets. Still don’t like them!
Couldn’t agree more. These are the best recipes to treasure.
The mushrooms looks so very delicious. Love the addition of diced cranberries in the stuffing. 🙂
Thank you Ronit! The cranberries were amazing!
Oh, Dorothy, thank you for your story, of grace. I felt like I was there with you.
Thanks so much for the recipe. How delicious.
Thank you Nancy! It was a day I’ll never forget!
What wonderful memories Dorothy. Your mom sounds like such an inspiring cook. She definitely rubbed off onto you!
Oh thank you! That’s the greatest compliment!
This sounds delicious! I am going to make this for the small Thanksgiving Bruce and I will have.
Oh, I think you’ll love them, and the leftovers reheat nicely!
That is good to know!
Your stuffed mushrooms look great, but I’m really here for that story! So moving about your last visit with your dad, and how something deep in you knew to slow down and savor every moment of that day. Wish I could have tasted your mother’s pork cutlets, too. ❤️
You would have loved them! And her Old Fashions as well!
My emotions are all over the place after reading your special memories.
I would have enjoyed your Mum’s Stuffed Chops as well as I will enjoy your Stuffed Mushrooms. My Mum only wrote down the recipes she would like to make not the ones she made up daily.
It’s strange how life works………..
It sure is! Some of mom’s recipes, like her spaghetti sauce, we made together so often that I can do it in my sleep, and it tastes like hers. But others are more elusive!
Thank you!
Beautiful and never to be forgotten memories. So lovely you had that time with your dad – a dear one’s passing is always sad, but, the grace you were given warms even the saddest memories.
I’ll be giving your stuffed mushies a go. Portobellos await…
Thank you dear Carolyn. It was an unforgettable experience and one I feel blessed to have at.
Gosh they look good. I am sure there are gremlins living in the walls of each oven/ kitchen – and they sprinkle a little individual magic to each dish.
I believe you have a solid theory there; it would explain so much!
Oh what beautiful memories of being with your family. A beautiful post. And a fab recipe!!
Thank you Mimi! They are all precious.
Such great memories and you get to relive them with every tweak of your favorite recipes. 🙂
Yes, that’s one of the gifts if the kitchen.
Family memories come flooding back. I consider them tasty morsels of kindness. 🍃🍒
What a lively way to put it!
Awwww. Bless you, Dorothy. 🍃🍒
❤️
These really do sound very nice. Dorothy. A most poignant story about your last memory of your dad 🤗
Thank you Robbie! I can finally tell it without crying – much. It feels kind of uplifting to me now.
🤗🙏
The quote by Fisher captures your poignant story. We are never in the kitchen alone. In 2001, a family reunion project culminated in a family cookbook. Family members were invited to share favorite recipes of the matriarch who claimed she learned about cooking at the elbows of her MIL. So the book covers 4 generations of food memories. I treasure it. Coming soon – Grandma’s coconut macaroons, a Christmas favorite.
Oh so true! They are always with us! I think that is where I feel their presence within the strongest.
Very Nice!! Happy Thanksgiving!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
I just found a cookbook my mother wrote, with the intention of publishing it, but never did. It has all my favorite recipes in it! I no longer have to call her–but I still will. 🙂
Oh wonderful!!!!
I’m sure even if it is written down, you will still have questions, so your mom will appreciate the call!
Your mushrooms look delicious, Dorothy.
Yes, those critical hours were meant to be remembered. I’m happy you have the memories–and the recipes.
I just put together a basic cookbook of our family recipes from my great-grandmother down. Food is memorable. Such a beautiful and important post, my friend.
Thank you Mary. I am sure your book will be treasured!
I did the same for our family recipes the year my mom died. My sister and I thought of this as our grief therapy; we got to remember and focus on the good times in her life rather than the difficult ending (cancer). And everyone in the extended family loves having those recipes!
Beautiful story, Dorothy. 🥲.
Thank you! It is easier to tell now.
Beautiful story, Dorothy, and timely. My grandson asked me this weekend to write down a sugar cookie recipe I’ve been making him since he was a toddler.
It will be a prized possession, I’m sure, and well used.
Very poignant last time with your dad. I had a very similar last visit with my first husband on our daughter’s porch. When he drove off I knew I wouldn’t see him again but was at peace finally.
Oh, a feeling of peace is a wonderful thing!
A lovely and poignant story, Dorothy. I often asked my mother to write down some of her recipes; sometimes she did and other times she did not!
It’s so important. If we want the recipe, we need a pen in our hand!
That was a lovely story. I wish I had more of my mom’s recipes, but when she would write things down sometimes the amounts would be off, or an ingredient left out, so it never quite tasted the same when I made it, as she was not one for measuring. We did make Christmas cake together a few times, but even that was estimated, a cup or this or that, enough floor to make it a certain consistency etc.
Oh don’t I know it! So much of mom’s cooking was like that, which is probably why I never quite got her stuffing recipe to taste the same!
I wish I could give you a big hug! That day you and your sister just happened to show up sounds like a gift to me. The stuffed mushrooms sound amazing, by the way.
What beautiful memories of that special day…truly a gift.
Yes, it was a most precious gift!
Your mushrooms look absolutely tasty, Dorothy.
Indeed, those important moments are meant to be cherished.
Some of the best memories are from simple actions, like cooking together.
So true. I really must copy all of mine for my brothers to pass down <3
I wish I had a few of my Aunt’s recipes that no one kept. They would have rounded out my childhood food memories. I have a few that my mom wrote down of hers, but not many.
We never think about this when we are young <3
No we don’t, sadly.
For sure.